In 1865 William Ross published a poem titled, “The Hand that Rocks the Cradle is the Hand that Rules the World,” a tribute to the enormous influence our maternal figures have in shaping the direction of the world. When you consider the pivotal role the women in our life play, it is not hard to understand the truth in such a statement. Women we share a maternal bond with–our birth mother, adoptive mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, friend or neighbor–have a prevailing effect on our life. They are the people we share our joys and burdens. They are the people we look to celebrate our triumphs and guide us through our challenges. They are the people who keep us grounded, provide us with encouragement and when necessary give us a good talking to about our behavior. The love they show us not only helps us along on our journey but teaches us how to help others along on theirs, thereby having a ripple effect on society.

Mothers, however you wish to define them, have accepted this awesome responsibility and, therefore, have become the keepers and sharers of wisdom. They know that wisdom can help you through a bad day or assist you with a life decision. In their role as counselor and the person in your life that has your very best interests at heart, they understand that there will be times in your life when you will need encouragement. They may say to you, crème always rises to the top—a reminder that your best efforts assure that you will get where you want to go. There will be lessons to be learned about the importance of character and she may tell you a good reputation is a very easy thing to lose and a very hard thing to get back. There will be times when you fee l like the world is not meeting your expectations regardless of how hard you try. Your mother will be there to remind you not to have a defeatist attitude and to believe in yourself. There will be times when you get pretty full of yourself and are not too nice to be around. Don’t worry, your mother will be right there to say, “you meet the same people on the way down that you met on the way up.” A little reminder that you need to be respectful to everyone you meet because everyone matters. Your mother knows there will come a day when someone will break your heart. She will listen to you lovingly, as only a mother can, and remind you that it did not work out because something better is meant for you. There will be a time in your life when absolutely everything is going wrong and your mother will remind you to count your blessings and that if God shut’s door he opens a window. And there will be many, many days when something wonderful happens. You ace a test you thought you would fail, you graduate from college, you get your first job, you announce your engagement or you welcome your own child into the world. Your mother will be the first one you think of and want to tell the good news to because no one could be more thrilled to see you happy than your mother.

Throughout our lives, our mothers are the ones that see us through all our little and big events. They know us better than we know ourselves sometimes. They love unconditionally and pray for our health, happiness and success. They willingly give of themselves and share their wisdom and love with us. They fully accept the incredible commitment and challenge of being a mother—the heartache, the worry, the sacrifice–yet they do it anyway, willingly and happily. Is it any wonder that William Ross never spoke truer words then when he wrote the poem “The Hand that Rocks the Cradle is the Hand that Rules the World,” for mothers truly shape the people we become and ultimately the world we live in.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who mother and care for their loved ones. You make the world a better place.

The calendar has officially proclaimed that spring has arrived. However, the weather seems intent on behaving in defiance of the calendar.  No worries, the calendar and the weather will eventually catch up with each other. They always do.

Spring and all that is ushered in with its arrival—bulbs planted months ago breaking through the earth to show the promise of beautiful new flowers and the birds returning from their migration–remind us that life like the seasons is cyclical.  The winter seasons of our life ensure we more deeply enjoy the arrival of spring and all her gifts.

Now some winters are longer and harder to endure than others. Like the winter of a given year, the winters of our life can be short and fairly non-eventful or be overextended and rather harsh. During the more difficult winters, the frigid temperatures accompanied by biting winds cut through our layers of clothes and chill us to the bone.  Snow storms trap us indoors only to pass and promise hours of work shoveling out our homes and cars. The days are shorter, as we wake and come home from work in the dark and do our best to avoid going outside in the cold, uninviting weather. This is winter doing its very best to challenge us from keeping our spirits up. This can mirror the events occurring in our life. Sometimes the circumstances of life are such that keeping spirits high seems like an insurmountable challenge.

However, if you take a moment during winter, you will notice that God has ensured beauty in even the most challenging of seasons. During a snowfall, there is an incredible quiet, peaceful beauty that becomes palpable to the soul. As you walk in the midst of a snowfall and look up, you marvel at the silver sky, providing a spectacular backdrop for each snowflake that elegantly dances toward the earth collectively covering our neighborhoods in an exquisite blanket of white. For a moment, in the middle of a challenging winter, you feel peace and are reminded that there is beauty in all seasons. The same is true during periods of our life that present incredible obstacles. If you take the time to look for it, you will find peace in the moments a friend reaches out to you, when a neighbor offers their assistance, when you laugh in spite of your concerns. This is life showing you that there is always joy to be found and if we are really paying attention, tremendous lessons to be learned that will allow us to grow into even wiser individuals.

Thankfully winter eventually passes to make way for spring, and spring is never more welcome or sweeter than after saying good-bye to a long, intense winter. For spring sends away the burdens of winter and invites in the pleasure of warmer days, colorful flower beds and open windows that fill our homes with fresh air and sunshine. Spring proclaims that the difficulties of winter have passed, and it is now time to relish the favor of a new, more pleasurable season. As spring follows winter, so too do brighter days follow troubled days. The expression this too shall pass, is not just said to simply provide comfort but is a promise– like that of the changing seasons–that your best days are ahead of you and when you feel that you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on because spring is on the way!  When she arrives be sure to welcome her with open arms and an open heart confident in knowing that you have learned something from winter that will make this new season in your life even brighter.

On Saturday, March 16, the Metuchen book store, To be Continued invited me to speak about the wisdom of the Irish and my book Wise Words & Witty Expressions.

If you were unable to attend, you can click here to watch my presentation.

If you live in the Metuchen area, To be Continued is carrying my book in their store.

On Friday, March 15, Daria DiGiovanni, host of Writestream, a Blog Talk Radio show, interviewed me about my book Wise Words and Witty Expressions.

Out conversation discussed the timeless Irish wisdom passed on to me by my mother and grandmother and about the writing process, self-publishing vs. traditional publishing, marketing, social media,”energy vampires” and the importance of being able to connect and communicate with your audience.

Click here to listen to the program.

I am very pleased to share that two papers have written about my book Wise Words & Witty Expressions, The Home News Tribune and the Sayreville Suburban.

Today, March 13, The Home News Tribune picked up my blog posting The Spirit of the Irish and renamed it Respect the power of Irish wisdom and heritage.  Please click here to read the article.

Also today, the Sayreville Suburban newspaper published an article titled, Author shares cultural idioms just in time for St. Patrick’s Day.  The article captures snippets from my presentation titled, The Wit and Wisdom of Irish Women at the Sayreville Public Library on Sunday, March. 3. Please click here to read the article.

On Saturday, March 16 at 2:00 p.m., I will be sharing my presentation on the spirit of the Irish and the power of their wisdom at the Metuchen bookstore, To Be Continued, Inc. on 431 Main St Metuchen, New Jersey 08840 (917) 686-6056. There will be bagpipers on hand to kick off St. Patrick’s Day so be sure to stop by if your are in the area!

Growing up my mother told me there are two kinds of people in the world—those that are Irish and those that wish they were. By the way, you are considered Irish if you have one drop of Irish blood.

As a young person, I understood this to mean that my mother was very proud of her heritage and that I should be too. But as I have grown and learned more about the Irish, I have come to understand that this expression goes beyond pride. It reflects the indomitable spirit of the Irish, who in spite of incredible obstacles are joyful, grateful and successful, which is why everyone wants to claim Irish ancestry.

Let’s consider the history of the Irish. For centuries the British persecuted the Irish and tried to colonize Ireland and have the Irish break from their belief in Catholicism. To achieve this goal, they engaged in dehumanizing practices that included driving the Irish out of their communities and taking away their basic rights, all in an effort to turn them into paupers so England could control them. Much blood was shed, families and lives broken, hard-earned treasures gained and lost. Yet, there were moments when the Irish were able to rise up only to be brought down again in a repeating cycle. Through it all, the Irish never gave up and more importantly they never lost their joyful spirits and eventually won their independence.

This very painful history is a lesson for all about standing up for yourself in spite of opposition but not losing your joy in the process. In order to strike this balance, one must have wisdom to see not just the trouble that is in front you but also have the ability to appreciate and be grateful for the gifts that are yours today, even under the most insolent circumstances. It would be very easy for the Irish to become bitter and negative. However, the Irish found a way to remain cheerful, funny and optimistic and if that is not the living practice of wisdom, I don’t know what is.   The history of this spirit was seen in the Irish immigrants that came to the United States in search of a better life. The Irish were not treated well in their homeland and were not well-received when they landed in the United States either. But deep inside themselves they knew their self-worth and were willing to face challenges, discrimination and hardships to build their dreams. No one can accomplish this through sheer force of will or hold on to it through luck. There must be an embedded core of faith and wisdom that one can fall back on to see you through your darkest days.

My grandmother embodied that sentiment. She came to the United States from Ireland alone at the age of 18. Upon arriving at Ellis Island, she took up work as a live-in maid and cook. She used her salary to bring over three brothers. One became homesick and returned home, another stayed and the third brother became ill. My grandmother took a room to care for him until his death. In order to provide a proper burial for him, she made arrangements with the local funeral director and worked to pay the debt in full. This was no small accomplishment for a single Irish woman at this time. Through all the challenges, she relied on the wisdom she learned as a girl in Ireland.  Expressions like, “you come from good stock and you will be just fine” to see her through.

My grandmother went on to marry and have seven children, one died in child birth.  Three sons served in WWII and one died an early death not long after returning from service. My grandmother’s youngest child, my mother, endured a tragic car accident in which she almost lost her leg. Through all the trials and tribulations, my mother said you would never know my grandmother had a care in the world. She always had a kind word and a positive attitude. She was true to her Irish heritage. As a result of her courage and optimistic attitude, I have enjoyed a life of fewer struggles and more success. When I face challenges now, I remember my mother saying to me, “it’s not the end of the world.”  Those simple words help keep life in perspective.

Maintaining faith and a positive attitude has served the Irish well. Since the days of European immigration, the Irish have gone on to be significant contributors to American success. They hold powerful roles in government, religion, and business.  Proving what my mother has long told me, “you can do anything you put your mind to.”  Knowing all along that it won’t be easy but “the best things in life are worth working hard for.”

Centuries of wise Irish men and women have lived a life of joy and gratitude in spite of tremendous challenges, proving that conflict does not dictate defeat or bitterness. So go forward in confidence, no matter your challenges, and remember to see the joy in life and to always “count your blessings,” for they are many.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all, because everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day!

I am pleased to announce that Wise Words & Witty Expressions was featured in the February 2013 edition of The Showcase Magazine’s Book Nook column.

The Showcase Magazine was established in 1996 for the purpose of promoting the businesses in Warren, NJ and the surrounding areas. The Showcase offers the community a professional magazine with informative columns, community news, community calendars, articles on area businesses as well as a beautiful front cover which features local and country-wide artists.

Click here to read the article.

February is the month designated to celebrate love. It is a romantic month that provides us with the opportunity to take a moment and acknowledge the very special people in our life. Sweethearts visit stores to purchase cards, candy, flowers and other gifts to show their love for one and other. Children send Valentine’s Day cards to their parents and parents give presents to their children and grandchildren, all in an expression of love. February reminds us to stop and think about the people in our life who have a special place in our heart and provide the support, joy and encouragement that sees us through the rest of the year. Whether you are fortunate enough to have many people in your life that love and care for you or you have a few, none of us thrive without giving and receiving love.

It is the exchange of love that connects us, gives us hope, propels us forward, sees us through challenges, celebrates our victories and can never be taken away from us. Even after our loved ones pass into the next life, the positive impact of our relationship with them remains with us and guides as we move forward.

Mixing the power of love with completely fallible human beings, however, makes relationships anything but a pleasant walk in the country each and every day. That is why love and forgiveness go hand in hand.  Without the ability to give and accept forgiveness, love quickly disintegrates, leaving both parties feeling anything but supported, understood and able to thrive. Love is hard work and that is why it is so powerful. Those in your life that are willing to work out differences, hurts, and invest time and emotion in you are special people. We are grateful for the enormous value they bring to our life and we feel special for being able to bring that same value to them. That is why we should willingly strive to nurture those relationships because anything worth having is worth working hard for.

Now to love truly, you must truly love yourself. Others become a reflection of how you see yourself. If you are critical of your shortcomings, you are likely to be critical of others. If you lack patience with yourself, you will likely lack patience with others. If you are judgmental about yourself, you will likely be judgmental of others. This type of relationship with yourself stifles love. To truly love, love yourself first. Do so by speaking kindly to yourself, being patient and forgiving with yourself and not comparing yourself to anyone else. You are a one-of-a-kind, worthy of love from yourself and others. Know your own mind, it will be your guide and give you confidence, which will bring you peace. The confidence you project in the love you feel for yourself will become an outward reflection to others. It will invite deeper more meaningful relationships with the people in your life today and attract new love and joy into your life tomorrow.

Allow the month of February with all the outward images of love—hearts in store windows, roses and Valentine’s bouquets in flower shops, heart shaped candy, the isle of pink and red cards you see in the grocery store—be the opportunity to remember to make love a significant part of your day, each and every day. Love is a full time job and a commitment to yourself and those you love. Like anything else in life, the more you put into it, the more you get out of it.

Happy Valentine’s Day! May this year bring you an abundance of love, joy and peace!

I am pleased to announce that I will be at the following “Meet the Author” events where I will be speaking and signing my book. I look forward to seeing you there!

March 3 2:00 p.m.: Discussion about the Power of Irish Wisdom, Sayreville Public Library, 1050 Washington Road, Parlin, NJ 08859, 732-727-0212, http://www.sayrevillelibrary.org/    

March 10, 12:00 p.m. Book Signing, Wegmans, 15 Woodbridge Ctr Dr Woodbridge, NJ,  (732) 596-3245

March 16, 2013, 2:00 p.m.:  Meet the Author Event To Be Continued, Inc. 431 Main St Metuchen, New Jersey 08840 (917) 686-6056

August 18-25:   Daily Gathering to Share the Power of Wisdom, Deerfield Spa 650 Resica Falls Road East, Stroudsburg, PA 18302, (800) 852-4494 http://www.deerfieldspa.com

Happy New Year!

I woke up this morning, January 1, 2013, believing for myself and everyone else that we are stepping into a New Year full of promise. The reason I believe this is that in spite of the challenges our nation, communities and each of us personally endured last year, very often we found a way to come together to help each other, pray for each other and remain focused on the positive side of human nature. I saw it again and again throughout the course of the year–even on the news, which could sadden the most optimistic among us.

I am not naive enough to believe that 2013 won’t bring us new challenges or that we handled all the challenges of 2012 well.  After all, we are flawed human beings doing the best we can with what we know.  What I do believe is that everything we live through helps us become the person we are today. If we become better people for having endured obstacles and do not become bitter, we are getting wiser, we are learning to focus on what is important and we learn gratitude for our many blessings.  The more of us that “get this” the better we all become, and I have every reason to believe we are getting a little bit better each day.

Therefore, today I will go to my mother’s and enjoy a pork dinner.  Because as my mother has told me every year for as long as I can remember, on New Year’s Day we eat pork because a pig roots forward, a chicken scratches back. This symbolic meal is a reminder to me to look forward to the blessings of the New Year and not to remain focused on the disappointments of the past.

In the words of the Mother Teresa, “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”

May today be the beginning of your very best days!